


Long Live Love

by I_ran_out_of_books



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Era, Dad Gaius, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, M/M, Oblivious Arthur, Sad Merlin, Sweet Arthur, Unrequited Love, Wedding Night, short and not so sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 07:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17340899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_ran_out_of_books/pseuds/I_ran_out_of_books
Summary: It's the night of Arthur and Gwen's wedding and Merlin is totally fine and not upset about it at all. Gaius steps in to comfort his not-sad boy like he deserves.





	Long Live Love

**Author's Note:**

> Quick fic about Arthur getting married because I think that Merlin would 1. Be heartbroken inside and 2. Gaius would absolutely know Merlin would need help. 
> 
> Also this might be me procrastinating the next chapter of "The Duality of Man" but I promise I'll post that in a couple days!!

It had all been going smoothly. The great hall decked out with the finest decorations Camelot had to offer. Food flooded the tables and people ate noisily and happily in celebration. Merlin had just come back from setting up Arthur's chambers in a mechanical fashion to see two love birds eyeing each other with tooth-rotting sweetness. Gwen sat beside Arthur in a chair made specially for her that would sit alongside Arthur's throne from now on. Their hands were interlocked lazily on top of the table and they gazed at each other like the two young lovers they were. 

Merlin sucked in a breath at the sight but closed his eyes tightly and then resumed his path toward the couple. It was nice that they were having such a good time, and if Merlin felt a little out of sorts it must've been the wine Arthur had offered him earlier out of cheer for his big day. But Merlin didn't really want to focus on himself for these next few hours; for once he was grateful he had the busy job of being a servant. This would keep him occupied through tonight, not that he needed a distraction, of course, but it was never good to be idle.

At least he thought he was going to be busy because as he picked up a pitcher of wine and went to stand in his rightful place behind his king, Arthur turned to look at him. His cheeks were pink from the heat in the room and the bliss of being newly married. "Merlin why don't you go ahead and take the night off to rest or celebrate? I won't be needing you later tonight anyway." Arthur finished his sentence turning to give Gwen a sly grin that had her looking away in embarrassment.

Merlin was sure it was meant to be a nice gesture and yet he couldn't imagine being told something worse. The words "won't be needing you" hurt a surprising amount. Arthur simply meant Merlin's services wouldn't be required that night, but the sight of him with Gwen combined with the words slapped Merlin in the face. Arthur didn't need Merlin because he had Gwen now. So Merlin bowed lowly to the new Queen and tried his best to give them a smile. Because he was happy. He was happy for them and he didn't hurt at all. 

Merlin left the hall quickly after, pushing the pitcher of wine into another servants hand and mowing his way through the crowd. He heard Gaius calling after him but he continued walking; he was very tired. 

Merlin burst into the run down chambers he had come to call home and staggered to sit on the small cot Gaius used for sick patients. And maybe this is exactly where he belonged because he did feel sick at the moment. His insides squirmed like slippery eels in the lake and his heart felt squeezed tight. He dragged in a shuddering breath and the sound of it made a lump stick in his throat. 

What a silly thing he was being, he was fine! Everything was just fine. Tonight had been wonderful and he should be celebrating. But even as he thought the words his throat grew tighter until it was hard to swallow and his face bloomed with heat. A sheen started to glimmer in his eyes as wetness collected at their corners and in his eyelashes.

He heard the slow footsteps of his mentor approaching in the hall and he tried his best to blink the strange fogginess in his eyes away, only succeeding in creating more somehow. "Merlin?" Gaius spoke in a hushed tone as he made it to the doorway, "are you okay?"

Those three words had been the death of any pretense as Merlin burst into tears. A sob was wrenched from his lungs and he curled into himself. Gaius was at his side in seconds wrapping Merlin in a big hug, like a father would. Or at least Merlin thought that's what it would be like. "I do-don't unders-stand, Gaius," Merlin hiccupped as he continued to cry uncontrollably, "why does it h-hurt so m-much? what's wrong with m-m-me?" 

"Oh my boy, my dear dear boy," Gaius almost cooed as he cradled Merlin into his chest further, "I'm so sorry Merlin." 

Another wave of pain in his chest overtook Merlin's slumped frame at the words making the boy grimace as tears wet his cheeks. He couldn't understand it. He was supposed to be happy for his two best friends for finding happiness; he had even pushed them together a few times during their relationship! But seeing Arthur hold Gwen's hands and smile at her like she was the only thing in the room felt like taking a mace to the chest. Ugly red splotches grew on Merlin's face and chest as his crying continued. Gaius was at a complete loss for what to do. He had seen Merlin face monsters and risk losing his loved ones but his ward had endured it all stoically; the sight of the shattered boy made Gaius' heart break. 

"I know it must feel terribly painful, Merlin, but it will pass. I promise." Gaius rubbed Merlin's back softly. 

"I love him," Merlin whispered in a voice thick with tears. 

"I know," Gaius answered resting Merlin's head on his shoulder. 

Full blown sobs slowly transformed into soft hiccups that erupted from Merlin's chest every once in a while. His body seemed to go slack with emotional exhaustion. 

"Come on my boy," Gaius spoke with the physician's voice he used while treating children of the court. He slid an arm under Merlin's and encouraged the young man to stand. Merlin let himself be led to his room like someone who was sleep walking and crashed onto his bed when Gaius let him sit. 

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Merlin said with a monotone voice. 

"He loves you too, and that will never change," Gaius reassured him. 

Merlin looked up to Gaius with puffy dull eyes and attempted a watery smile. They both knew it wasn't the same kind of love, but what was the point of getting into it? Merlin really did appreciate Gaius' efforts at comforting him. Even he needed comfort sometimes. Merlin spent so much of his time making sure others were okay he never took a second to let someone take care of him, and if felt nice. After all the all powerful Emrys who tamed dragons and killed bandits really was just a child in the grand scheme of life, and all children need someone to promise them everything will be all right. 

"Try and get some sleep," Gaius said squeezing Merlin's shoulder one last time. 

"Goodnight, uncle." Merlin fell flat on his back and drifted off as Gaius closed the door to his little room. He thought about how dark and drafty it was in this little corner they called his chambers. The bed was hard and creaky; barely enough room for one, and that seemed fitting as no one else ever shared it with Merlin. He thought about how different it was from Arthur's chambers, he had prepared them himself during the feast. There were candles and flower petals spread luxuriously in the room, incense burned sweetly in the air, and a fire roared seductively in it's pit licking the air with warmth. That's where Gwen would spend the night, well the rest of her nights. Merlin couldn't help the envy that rose in his chest then. But he didn't dwell for too long, he couldn't afford such a luxury because he was still a servant after all. 

Tomorrow when the sun beamed and the birds chirped Merlin would be forced to walk to those chambers. He would have to open the door and see them intertwined with one another and wake them so they could have breakfast. He would watch with a tense jaw as they wriggled around still warm with sleep and break again when they'd smile softly once they realized who's arms they were in. 

So he had to stop thinking and sleep now. To get up tomorrow. And serve King Arthur and Queen Gwen. 

Long live the King. Long live the Queen. Long live Merlin's heart break.

**Author's Note:**

> Merlin's really just a heart broken kid. 
> 
> Leave comments/kudos if you'd like, they're writing fuel! :) and I love to hear from y'all!


End file.
